My father was an alcoholic
and abused my mom on a
daily basis. As far back as I can
remember I knew that my life at
home was not “normal”. Like most
adult children, I have all or most
of the characteristics from the
Laundry List as an adult child as
any “normal” person would.
Mydaddiedattheageof41 back in 1988 when I was at the ripe age of 16, and now, at 43 years old, I have yet to grieve his death. I am sad that he never got to live his life as a recovering alcoholic, but I am grateful that he no longer gets to abuse my mother or anyone else for that matter.
I just remember being grateful that God answered my prayers to make it stop even if it meant removing him from our lives. It is sad that I felt that way, but again, I knew at some point, I wanted my life to be somewhat stable.
I met a recovering alcoholic a few months ago who I was attracted to, and started building a relationship with him. I didn’t see anything odd about that, but after four months of attending
Mydaddiedattheageof41 back in 1988 when I was at the ripe age of 16, and now, at 43 years old, I have yet to grieve his death. I am sad that he never got to live his life as a recovering alcoholic, but I am grateful that he no longer gets to abuse my mother or anyone else for that matter.
I just remember being grateful that God answered my prayers to make it stop even if it meant removing him from our lives. It is sad that I felt that way, but again, I knew at some point, I wanted my life to be somewhat stable.
I met a recovering alcoholic a few months ago who I was attracted to, and started building a relationship with him. I didn’t see anything odd about that, but after four months of attending
ACA, I now see why we crossed
paths.
I do believe that God placed him in my life for me to continue this journey of recovery. He was the first to plant the idea of ACA in my head, and he discussed his recovery with me. I found it very inspiring and wished my dad could have experienced recovery and a different life.
I somehow had to forgive my father and release the hatred I had for him as a man.How do you forgive the deceased?
I wrote a letter to my father forgiving him of all the pain he had caused me and I allowed ONE person to read it before sealing the envelope. The person I allowed to read the letter was the recovering alcoholic, and somehow I felt like this letter had been delivered to my dad. I addressed the envelope without a return address and simply wrote, “To Heaven” on the front.
I placed it in another envelope and addressed it to my church with another letter asking them to please see that my dad
I do believe that God placed him in my life for me to continue this journey of recovery. He was the first to plant the idea of ACA in my head, and he discussed his recovery with me. I found it very inspiring and wished my dad could have experienced recovery and a different life.
I somehow had to forgive my father and release the hatred I had for him as a man.How do you forgive the deceased?
I wrote a letter to my father forgiving him of all the pain he had caused me and I allowed ONE person to read it before sealing the envelope. The person I allowed to read the letter was the recovering alcoholic, and somehow I felt like this letter had been delivered to my dad. I addressed the envelope without a return address and simply wrote, “To Heaven” on the front.
I placed it in another envelope and addressed it to my church with another letter asking them to please see that my dad
in heaven receives the letter and
mailed it. I felt as if they are the
closest entity to God and that
was my way of forgiving him.
While I am currently in the Step program and we are just beginning Step Two, I somehow thought I could bypass Steps One through Eight, and I was already on Step Nine by making amends.
I was wrong. I still have some serious work to do within myself – but what a joy it was to release the culprit from running my everyday life of false emotions. I could not do this without continuing this journey with other recovering adult children. They are my new family that understands my feelings and me completely.
It is such a healthy release and I only wish I could have started the program sooner, but I am forever grateful to be on the path of MY journey in life. ❧
While I am currently in the Step program and we are just beginning Step Two, I somehow thought I could bypass Steps One through Eight, and I was already on Step Nine by making amends.
I was wrong. I still have some serious work to do within myself – but what a joy it was to release the culprit from running my everyday life of false emotions. I could not do this without continuing this journey with other recovering adult children. They are my new family that understands my feelings and me completely.
It is such a healthy release and I only wish I could have started the program sooner, but I am forever grateful to be on the path of MY journey in life. ❧
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