Identification...Before and After

Every Adult Child Anonymous (ACA) recovery journey begins with identification. Some of us identify immediately with the fellowship name, remembering clearly the parental alcoholism,addictions or dysfunction we witnessed as children.  Others of us identify with the Laundry List but wonder how our “normal” and “happy” childhoods could have created those characteristics in us.  Some of us identify with all 14 traits of the Laundry List, while some of us may initially relate to only a few.

In every case, however, some element of identification brings us to our second meeting, or keeps us reading another page of the fellowship text.  Eventually, we learn if we have the necessary “desire” to recover and the willingness to surrender to the process, one day at a time.  Eventually, we commit to working the Steps and applying those spiritual principles in our lives. But before we commit, we relate.

Identification is a critical first step of our journey.  It's what keeps us coming back.
For those of us introduced to ACA by a fellow traveler carrying the message, we also know the power of hearing and relating to someone else's story.  Identifying with others reminds us that we aren't alone or unique.  We aren't the only ones to have felt such shame and aloneness.  We aren‟t the only ones struggling to reclaim a true self buried years ago in a dysfunctional family system.

Identifying with other adult children also reminds us that we don't have to do this difficult work in isolation.  Every ACA meeting we attend reminds us that others have been where we are today and have made it through to the other side.  Fellow travelers light the way for us to follow, so we can carry that hope for those just beginning the journey.

Eventually, we come to identify not just with "the Problem" but also with "the Solution". 

We see the ACA Promises coming true in our lives. We relate more to stability and serenity, and less to fear and excitement. Slowly and gradually, we find our identification as recovering adult children.